Today I learned...

I've only recorded the one singing video, but I observed that certain emotions lived in certain parts of the full action. There was before I started, recording the video, editing/posting the video, and afterwards.

Phase 1: Pre-Record (Before Action)

Dominant emotion: Fear
Before I hit record, the fear was loud: “What if this goes badly?”
I could feel it in my chest; my whole body hesitated.
My nervous system was doing its job, trying to keep me safe by avoiding exposure.
Data note: This is where my friction lives; it’s the highest-anxiety moment. This can be an extended period with procrastination.

Phase 2: Record (During Action)

Dominant emotion: Nervousness
Once I started recording, the fear shifted. My body stayed on high alert, but it turned into performance energy.
I was visible, heart racing, face expressive, uncertain but committed.
Data note: This is me tolerating visibility. I can track how quickly my system stabilizes once I begin. Over in moments, especially if I do only one take.

Phase 3: Post (Visibility Processing)

Dominant emotion: Embarrassment
Watching the clip back to trim and caption it made me hyper-aware that other people will see it.
Self-consciousness peaked here, that hot “social-exposure burn.”
Data note: This is my integration challenge: choosing self-compassion instead of self-criticism while I make it public.

Phase 4: Aftermath (After Action)

Dominant emotion: Relief → Acceptance (“What will be will be”)
After posting, the adrenaline faded. The fear didn’t vanish, but it softened.
I felt curiosity: “Did anyone see this?” And, a quiet pride that I actually did it.
Checking for followers or views felt like looking for data validation and curiosity, not vanity.
Data note: This is my learning window: where fear turns into feedback and confidence begins to root.