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Today is the first day of my TikTok Singing Exposure Experiment. As a recap,

I am testing whether doing a harder task (singing in a video) enough will make the hard task (talking in a video) easier to do because I believe creating videos will be an important part of my strategy to get to $1M within 15 months.

But, I procrastinated yesterday insteading of posting my baseline video. I imagine today will be more procrastinating. Ane excerpt from my Now page

I am avoiding doing what I need to do...and I am suffering unnecessarily for it. What I have noticed is that suffering happens mostly before (anticipatory fear) or after the action (reflective or ruminating self-judgment).
This anticipatory friction I am experiencing is what PGQ would call a murky clarity lens which kills action.

This is going to happen a lot on this journey, I already know. I need a plan of action.

I saved this video of a abnormally thin guy dancing to Mystikal's Shake Yo Ass to look at before I do post my own videos because I am inspired by it. He embodies the principle of courage = act in alignment with values despite fear.

It makes me think the value is not in the skill (singing well), but in the act itself (singing anyway).

What am I feeling exactly?

Fear of:

  • Judgment
    • "People will laugh at me or think I look stupid; my voice sucks."
    • Self-state: Past - I've been laughed at, shamed, and dismissed before.
    • Self-state: Default - my autopilot says 'avoid exposure = avoid pain'
  • Rejection
    • No one will watch, like, or follow. My post will flop, confirming I'm not good enough.
    • Self-state: Past - Rejection memories from school, peers, and family.
    • Self-state: Present - when my capacity is low, rejection feels more threatening than it is, and my ADHD doesn't help.
  • Exposure
    • What if people from my 'real life' see me? Once I'm visible, I can't take it back.
    • Self-state: Past - old wounds for being 'punished' for standing out or just embarrassment because people don't really know me know me.
    • Self-state: Default - there is safety in the background.
  • Failure
    • If this doesn't work, maybe nothing will and I will have wasted precious time on the wrong path. My life is half over as it is...lol.
    • Self-state: Past - failures are mostly remembered as shame or guilt.
    • Self-state: Becoming - afraid new efforts will repeat old failures.
  • Success
    • What if it does blow up?
    • Self-state: Best - what if I can't maintain this level of success (pressure spiral).
    • Self-state: Becoming - If I succeed, will I still belong?
  • Comparison
    • Others are better, more polished than me. I'll never measure up.
    • Self-state: Past - old comparisons (people who were smarter, more successful, prettier, more talented than me).
    • Self-state: Default - my autopilot keeps scanning others instead of self.
  • The Unknown
    • Better to stay in the familiar (inaction) than risk the unknown.
    • Self-state: Present - uncertainty feels like a threat = paralysis.
    • Self-state: Becoming - growth self wavers because I'm not sure what's on the other side.

So, I have three frameworks that I can use to help me post today:

The way forward

Moving forward, I know I can’t just sit in this anticipatory fear because it paralyzes me and I cannot allow this to stop me from reaching $1M in 15 months. I need a process that helps me act even when fear shows up. For me, there are three paths that I've learned of and any one of them would work.

Option 1

I wrote an article on Medium about my own lived experience. These are the steps that have carried me out of suffering before, and I'm sure they can help again.

My 9 Steps (from How I Stopped Suffering)

  1. Accept reality instead of resisting it (I'm afraid and I feel friction. That is the reality. Accepting this removes extra suffering from shoulda's.
  2. Shift from survival mode to safety mode (Right now, posting feels like a threat. Doing breathwork, grounding, or even watching that courageous guy dance helps my nervous system feel safe enough to act.)
  3. Stop identifying with pain (“I am afraid” turns into “I feel fear.” Fear isn’t my identity, it’s just a passing state. And, whatever happens in the video or because of the video isn't my identity. That detachment lets me post without making it about my worth.)
  4. Shift focus from lack to abundance (Instead of thinking about what I don't have, i.e. I don’t have range, control, or a trained voice, and my voice cracks a lot; focus on what I do have, i.e. I have pitch, tone, rhythm, a willingness to try, and self-awareness.).
  5. Stop avoiding pain and start feeling it (Fear is uncomfortable, but avoiding posting prolongs the suffering. Feeling the discomfort and posting anyway shortens the loop. Writing this post is my way of sitting with the fear).
  6. Build tiny joyful habits (I don't have to wait to be successful or confident before I can be happy; I can be happy now. And, music makes me happy. Uncovering my true voice makes me happy.
  7. Replace control with trust (Fear comes from uncertainty and so we don't do what we don't have control over. But, the only thing I can control is myself, my actions, my mindset, etc. I can't control how people respond, but I can control hitting 'post' and I can trust that doing something enough times will help me, that posting will help me.)
  8. Choose growth over perfection (My first videos aren't meant to be polished. My voice isn't meant to be like anyone else's. I can't compare my untrained and traumatized voice to someone else's who has training or has been posting videos already. I compare my present self to my past self, period.
  9. Find purpose in helping others (By posting, I'm not just exposing myself; I'm modeling courage for others who are also afraid to be seen. By healing myself, I can help others heal. That purpose makes the risk meaningful.)

Option 2

Daniel Priestley's Confidence = Data

In the same video, that I got my 30 videos constraint from, Daniel Priestley explains that confidence isn't a feeling, but evidence stacked from reps that allow you to predict what will happen when you do an action that you built enough reps in. So if confidence is data, then my fear is the data gap. All the fears I listed (judgment, rejection, exposure, failure, etc.) come from imagining without evidence.

So he suggested suspending your feelings until you have the data.

  • Normally, your brain says: “I feel afraid → this means it’s dangerous → don’t do it.”
  • Priestley’s point: “Of course you feel afraid; you don’t have data yet. So suspend judgment until you’ve collected enough reps.”
  • Feelings before data = noise. Feelings after data = signal.

For me,

  • Right now: “I feel scared, which must mean posting is unsafe.”
  • Reframe: “I feel scared because I have zero data. Once I’ve done x posts, then I’ll have evidence to evaluate.”

Option 3

Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s Tiny Experiments

Anne Laure provides another way to reframe what I am doing so that I can move past the fear and do. She emphasizes that experiments are about curiosity not success. Tiny experiments are designed small enough so they don't cost much. This framing can make fear smaller because you aren't betting your whole identity on it. You're just 'running a test.'

She also talks about making a pact with yourself: I will do x for y time. So, your goal isn't the outcome, but honoring your pact.

Another takeaway from this book is embracing curiosity over certainty.

  • Instead of asking: “Will this work? Will people like it?” → ask: “What will I learn if I try this?”
  • That reframes fear into curiosity, which clears the lens in your self-state model.

And, lastly, Anne-Laure, mirrors Daniel Priestley (or v.v.), saying iteration = confidence. Each small rep adds a data point and overtime you start to see patterns, and that's where confidence grows.

How I choose to move forward

I am doing this. Today. Here are the reframes, I hope will help me move forward:

✅ Fear isn’t proof I can’t do this; I'm just missing data. It's a part of the process I’ve agreed to accept.

✅ Posting isn’t life-or-death. It’s safe enough to try, because the stakes are small within this experiment.

✅ My worth isn’t on trial here. The act of posting is just a datapoint, not my identity.

✅ I already have enough to begin (willingness, pitch, tone, rhythm), and each rep adds more abundance over time.

✅ My only job is to show up; I trust that confidence will follow after enough reps.

✅ Each imperfect video grows me; perfection isn’t the point, progress is.

✅ By posting, I’m not just facing fear, I’m modeling courage for others who need it.

✅ Fear can sit in the room with me, but I suspend acting on it because fear is not evidence. Only data will guide my actions.

And if these don't work, I'll watch @be_yourself_dylan to show me there is nothing to fear.

The Pact

I will post 30 singing videos on TikTok.

Follow me on tiktok to watch this experiment unfold. And if you want more info on the experiment itself or the actual data I collect, go here. My experiments database is at the bottom.

This TikTok experiment is just one thread in my larger $1M journey. But it matters, because if I can master showing up here, in fear and in imperfection, then I can master showing up anywhere.

I’m Scared to Post on TikTok, So I Made It an Experiment

Facing fear through data, reframes, and tiny experiments. My 30-video TikTok pact is a test of courage on my $1M journey.